Michelle Obama and Diet Coke...

     Okay. Michelle Obama is a nice lady. She strives to eliminate childhood obesity by using the powers of the triforce laws and regulations to force kids to eat healthy and exercise. While she means good, I think her methods of using the law to make kids thin isn't such a good idea. I think we should INFORM kids of what Nutritional Facts are instead of forcing them to eat something they don't know. But, I digress.

This article by Kay Hymowitz is mainly about the collapse of the burger joint fad. In the first two paragraphs, however, she says this:

Yesterday the Washington Post reported that Michelle Obama consumed 1700 calories at lunch at the new DC Shake Shack. According to the story, the First Lady had a Shackburger, fries, a chocolate shake, and in a self-deluding ploy most of us know all too well, a Diet Coke. Some people were amused at the supposed hypocrisy of the obesity-fighting First Lady gorging on 1700 calories of fat and carbs.

     1700 Calories??? WOW! That's a buttload for lunch. Today, I had a quiche which was 500 calories for lunch. I'd be lucky to get 1700 calories in my day!
     Now I'll give her this...those empty calories were probably the shake. Those damn shakes are kick ass! Those fries aren't exactly healthy either. All greasy and shit. Then we get to the Diet Coke...

DIET FUCKING COKE
IN-FUCKING-GREDIENTS
Carbonated Water: Seltzer
High Fructose Corn Syrup: That shit that's unhealthy sweetener. Facts, bro.
Caramel Color: Food Coloring
Phosphoric Acid: Unhealthy, tangy acid that fucks up your bones and kidneys. Also, it's a rust remover. Facts, bro.
Natural Flavors: Oil of "spice, fruit or fruit juice, vegetable or vegetable juice, edible yeast, herb, bark, bud, root, leaf or any other edible portions of a plant, meat, seafood, poultry, eggs, dairy products, or fermentation products" according to the US Code of Fed Reg
Caffeine: Gets you hyper and can make you seizure if you OD on it.
Aspartame (NutraSweet): Another sweetener that fucks you up. Facts, bro.
Potassium Benzoate: Whistle in fireworks. Facts, bro.
Citric acid: The healthiest ingredient. Commonly found in citrus fruits.

This shit is why I HATE the Coca Cola company now! Why can't you use GOOD ingredients? (other than citric acid and seltzer) I don't want to drink fucking firework whistles! I want COKE!!!


Oh and Michelle should learn not to drink that and to just have water.